you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
