By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
