mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
