So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
