My underwear smells like fireworks.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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