No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
