Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
