hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
