U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
we're chasing vodka with high fives
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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