why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
