Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
