It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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