Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
