you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
