I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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