I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
