Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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