OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize