This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
