fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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