my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
