Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
