New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
