Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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