Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
