Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
