Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
