I skipped work to stalk him.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
