the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
