I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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