I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
