i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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