It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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