I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
