Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
