At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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