Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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