apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
