just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
