I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
