my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
