I heard we made out
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
