Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
