She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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