Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i think my cat just said my name.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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