Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
