I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
