Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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