so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
