ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
