I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize