So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
God I need to hump something, right now.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
