ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
