best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
