chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
