i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
