this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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