I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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