i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i think i have two assholes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
