wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
