"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
why do cheetos always look like penises
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
