Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
