Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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