i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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