I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
did you just send me my own nude
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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