somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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