singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
